Craving to stop doubting

Wondering
Can i be a successful person?
Can i be the one whom people amaze by?
Can i be proud of everything that i do?
Of achievement that i get?
Im feeling like the neighbors grass will always seems so great than mine, im aware that i didn't know the entire story how they get that, but it seems so exquisite for me.
My toxic mind are often create a disaster for my self
Doubting
Procrastinating
Wasting
Cursing
I miss my self in the vhs era
Full of ambition
Full of spirits
Full of love and support
Can i be like that again? My old self
Once i heard form a man who was loving me so bad
'If your friend step at one stair
You can step at two stairs at the same times'
So i decide to be my old self again, begin at this 23.55 pm.
So i feel deserve to be proud of who i am.